Liz Arsenault and Lorna Martin prepare name tags for Bible Study at St. Timothy’s Church, Hatchet Lake, N.S. Photo contributed.
Forty-something Melody (not her real name) walked timidly through the church door for the first time one morning. During worship, her eyes welled up with tears. At the end I invited her to join us on Wednesday night for adult study. She did, and shared that her common-law partner had just left her, and the province, with major bills.
Over the next few months Melody discovered the love and grace of God. She found comfort, and healing, in a faith family, then joyfully took on ministries in music and program leadership. “This is such a safe place,” she often said.
At St. Timothy’s and St. Paul’s, a parish located in a bedroom community near Halifax, our leadership has come to appreciate that “people don’t care what you know until they know you care.”
The parish has always helped with social needs—as stewards of an emergency food bank, for instance, or providing Christmas hampers or taking a turn at the soup kitchen downtown.
But we felt we could be doing more—for singles, couples, and families, in terms of nurturing their faith lives and creating a loving Christian community.
In the last few years our focus of ministry has been young working families, especially those from the Prospect Road area, which includes Hatchet Lake and our larger church, St. Timothy’s. Here, many career couples with small children work for the Canadian Navy, universities, hospitals, and government offices. Most have moved from Newfoundland, Cape Breton, Yarmouth, and other places, and so have few friends or extended family.
We decided to fill the gaps of friendship and support.
We began with a Wednesday night Alpha course, offering a “sanctuary” for adults to explore their faith without judgement and to encounter healing. Participants are welcome to ask any question and to share their private struggles. The course helps members affirm their faith foundations and articulate what Christ means to their lives. Alpha grads are then encouraged to invite their friends and neighbours to join us.
We’re always very respectful and never pressure anyone, but our ultimate goal is disciple-making and helping people develop a personal, life-giving relationship with God.
Next we started up a Date-Night Couples (marriage) course, featuring jazz, romantic lighting, delicious four-course meals, and video teaching. Couples privately discuss the materials, strengthening their relationships. To encourage newcomers to plug into worship, we invite them to a renewal of marriage vows, a liturgy during our Sunday evening rock music service.
Then came Divorce Care, for those struggling with the pain of broken relationships. Options include worship rites, such as Unction (healing), Reconciliation, and At the Ending of a Marriage (Occasional Celebrations, ACC). Leader and parish vocational deacon, the Rev. Cheryl Rafuse, remarks, “With each session we witness healing and growth.”
A depression support group sprang up, facilitated by Ms. Rafuse.
And this winter, with four schools and two busy daycares in our area, we decided to kick off a 12-session parenting course.
Additionally, we provide space for an AA group and occasionally host sessions on topics such as dying and death, parents and tots, and body image and self-esteem for young teens.
Success and challenges
We attribute our success to several factors.
First, every year we offer the Alpha course and run it according to the prescribed “recipe.” We pull out all the stops on hospitality.
Second, we train all our leaders and helpers annually. Training includes the pastoral care of members and how to facilitate discussion. We now have more than 20 people ready to serve in this ministry.
Third, for small group discussion, we insist on confidentiality. We encourage open sharing, including asking hard, even hostile, questions about God and the church.
Our leaders and helpers know that support of hurting participants is a priority. Frequently we offer the ministry of healing prayer, the laying-on of hands and anointing with oil.
Challenges involve encouraging participants to consistently attend weekly worship and programming. People want to be involved, but are overwhelmed by long work hours, a frantic schedule of children’s activities, and visits “home” every once in a while to see grandma and grandpa. So we’ve shortened our sessions and worship time.
Increasingly we find many cannot attend on Saturday or Sunday, but are open to a week-night “window” of two hours.
Although the ministry of compassionate care is demanding, our efforts are widely appreciated. Recently we were contacted by the Minister of Legislative Assembly, Bill Estabrooks, to help grieving family and friends of a local teen who had committed suicide.
We are seen as people who actively love those around us.
It’s true—“People don’t care what you know, until they know you care.”
