Tomorrow I will be ordained to the priesthood at All Saints Cathedral in Halifax, N.S. When I reflect on the long journey up to this point, I sometimes feel like Job, listening as God speaks these words out of the whirlwind: “‘Who is this that darkens counsel by words without knowledge? Gird up your loins like a man; I will question you, and you shall declare to me.” (Job 38:2)
There were many times when I had to “gird up my loins” and work hard to get to this point. The journey from undergrad to a master’s degree was challenging, but the time of my life. The endless late nights of paper writing, the “freshmen twenty,” and lots of other social commitments. Now I’m busy with parish ministry and this involves another kind of girding, as I learn how to love and minister to the people in my community. I think all of these things helped prepare me for God’s work, as they have made me very human.
This last Monday I had a “quiet day” to rest from this whirlwind. I decided to travel to a place that helped form me—my alma mater, Mount Allison University. As I was driving to Sackville, I was able to reflect on the state of my life, those who are important to me, and the people who make up the church. As Tupac Shakur raps, I was “staring through my rear-view”—the mirror of my life. Yet at the same time I was looking at the world, and thinking ahead to my future and the church’s future.
It was a good and divine moment, perhaps encouraged by a media interview I did a few weeks earlier, where I was asked by a journalist in Ottawa how I felt about the beloved Anglican Church of Canada. I wondered, where will it be in 2019? How different will it look?
My time in Sackville was deep or “heavy” as Marty McFly likes to say in Back to the Future. I got back in touch with my roots. The Rev. John Perkin—Mount A. chaplain, professor, and my true friend—offered me a space to reflect. I sat in on a first year religious studies New Testament course. And like John would, he had a pop quiz for the class, which I had to do as well! In the afternoon I walked around campus, remembering the good times. I went to Bridge Street Café, a favourite stomping ground of mine. In the afternoon, I took time in the chapel and read some of Thomas à Kempis’s thoughts on the sacraments from The Imitation of Christ. I later went back to John’s home, and in his study we talked late into the night about all things theological and academic.
Now I feel a little more ready for tomorrow night, when I will stand to receive the yoke of Christ from my peers and colleagues. As the bishops and the college of clergy lay their hands on me, I believe that I will be lifted up even further to live out the priestly life. I realize that as I enter this new phase of my ministry I do not do it alone. Our Anglican church is made up of so many gifted people who contribute to its life.
This is where my mind is at, the day before being ordained: I’m thinking of others in the Anglican Church and their faith. I’m thinking of those who are preparing for first communion and confirmation. I’m remembering the amazing youth who are the future of our church, like the young woman in my youth group who proclaimed to me and our bishop that someday she wants to be bishop. I remember the laity who read and preach the word of God. I smile, thinking about the deacons of our church who conduct social justice ministry and serve at Christ’s altar. I reflect on the academics, their study of theology, and the way they help shape the church’s policy. And of course I remember our priests and bishops.
As I prepare for tomorrow, I am thankful for all those who make up the Anglican Church of Canada. It is a blessing. God has spoken to me out of the whirlwind and I move into a new stage of ministry in this beloved church.
