The Rev. Canon Tim Elliott, a ministry consultant with Elliott Clarke and Associates, offers these "Notes from the Narthex." From this vantage point in the church's lobby he can peer into the church or open the door and look outside, all the while staying safe in the narthex.
Praying for each other before arriving in a new congregation was how one minister did it. He asked people to send him a note saying they were praying for him. He sent them back a note saying he was praying for them. In this way, he compiled a list of people by name even before he arrived. I thought that was a great idea.
In my experience, the best idea for saying hello and getting to know people ended up being called, “The Great Store-Bought Cookie Project.”
I asked some key members in a congregation I was entering to arrange gatherings for church folks in people’s homes. The idea was we’d meet from 7:30 to 8:30, and I insisted that the only thing the hosts serve were coffee, tea, and store-bought cookies. I didn’t want the event to be a burden.
When we gathered at 7:30, I asked everyone to sit in a circle in the living room and then I explained I wanted to go around the circle and have everyone tell us two things—their name and how they came to this congregation.
They were wonderful evenings, and folks who couldn’t make one asked if we could organize some more. I took a calendar and all I did was put an X through two evenings a week and give those dates to the organizers. They’d tell me where I was going and off I’d go to meet some new folks. When they couldn’t fill one of my slots, I had the gift of a free evening—a real bit of grace.
I know of other clergy who have had gatherings at the church to meet folks, and there are many creative ways to enter and say hello. One of the privileges of parish ministry is that we have the opportunity to meet new people and tell our story again. It’s something that very few professions have—new opportunities with new communities.
I once heard a story from a minister who had filled in at a small country church. It was a very different, and positive, experience for him because he was from the city and worked in the church head office.
On Monday morning, he called the minister he’d supplied for to thank him for the opportunity. “How many did you have?” the minister asked. “Twenty-nine,” he said. “Does that include you or not?” was the question back. “No, with me included there were 30 of us.” “Then you had them all,” said the minister of the congregation.
In relating this story, the supply minister reflected on what it was like to “have them all”—to know that everyone was there who could be there. I would remember his reflections whenever I’d start the “hello” process. At some point, I would know the congregation. There would always be more “hellos” to come with new people, visitors, and others returning. But it would be a relief when I came to know the congregation and know them all.
How we say hello is very important. Life is lived between the hellos and goodbyes we say to each other.
And congregational ministry gives us the opportunity to say hello and get to know people in a very special way. There’s something rather nice about the “honeymoon” period. But it usually doesn’t last long. Sooner, more often than later, there is serious work to be done and serious conversations to be had.
